Catching up: The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Network: BRAVO
Series: RHONJ
Episode: Post Season 2, Ep. 5

The new season of Real Housewives of New Jersey is already underway, so I'm going to do an overview here and then start writing about each episode as it airs. RHONJ is unique in that the cast is built around a family. There's matriarch of the Manzo clan, Caroline, who is the uber-mom. She's probably older than I am, but I still wish she would adopt me. She's mother to Lauren, Chris and Albie, and married to Albert Manzo, who co-owns a banquet hall called the Brownstone with his brother, Tommy, who is married to Caroline's sister Dina. Dina is drop dead gorgeous, smart, funny and surprisingly spiritual. Dina and Caroline's brother Chris Laurita married Jacqueline and they have Ashley (from Jac's previous marriage) age 18, CJ, who is about 5(?) and new baby Nicholas, who's already a heartbreaker and needs more screentime.

The Manzos and Laritas are close friends with Teresa Giudice's family, which includes her husband Joe and four daughters, Gia, Gabriella, Milania and newest bambina, Audriana. Dina is going to be Audriana's godmother and the family likes to joke that baby Nicholas and Audriana will get married some day. It wouldn't surprise me a bit. Teresa's husband Joe was in the hospital the day she was born, so it would be like carrying on a family tradition. Nicholas slept through their first meeting, but he did bring Audriana a pretty rose.

Gia is going to be a star if she has anything to say about it and works hard toward that end in spite of being only 8 years old. She just walked at NY Fashion Week, which I'll talk more about later. The last housewife, who represents a common enemy for the Manzos, is Danielle Staub. A former friend of Jacqueline's, she's a divorcee who has two gorgeous kids named Jillian and Christine. The elder, Christine, is 15 and was recently scouted by an important modeling agency, IMG and debuted at Fashion Week, too. Danielle's first ex-husband, Kevin Maher, wrote a book called Cop Without a Badge that brought a lot of Danielle's past, which she worked hard to bury, back to light. She has an autobiography out that doesn't match up to what can be read on line in court documents. Court documents show her arrested in a house with 6 kilos of cocaine, and she was reportedly a call girl who participated, according to court documents, in a kidnapping for ransom, but she turned state's evidence and her charges were reduced to almost nothing but drug rehab.

Now here's where the story gets murky. In the first season, we hear Dina say she doesn't remember what the conflict was about, but she might have threatened to "kick her ass," but we don't know why. Danielle is, for some reason, obsessed with Dina and will do strange stalker behaviors like showing up at the beauty shop where the girls are getting ready for an evening of partying to which she is not invited, or threatening to buzz Caroline's house where a fundraiser for the sheriff is happening because she wasn't told about it. The thing is, it was a thousand-dollar a plate dinner and anyone could have purchased a ticket, though Danielle is supposedly broke. Anyway, last season, Danielle was convinced that Dina dug up the ex-husband's book and humiliated her. Caroline says she did it, but most sources indicate that people in the small community they live in already knew about it. If Danielle hadn't been threatening toward Dina, I don't think anyone would ever have heard of the book.

Unfortunately, Danielle is a borderline personality who lives to create drama, so she accepted an invitation to a dinner party at a restaurant hosted by Teresa. After everyone ate, Danielle broke out the book and a fight ensued that resulted in the infamous table-tipping by Teresa who screamed "prostitution whore! You were fucking engaged 19 times" at her among other things. Do not mess with Teresa when she's throwing a dinner party. BRAVO got their highest ratings ever (until Kelly Bensimon's breakdown this year. That'll be a different post.)

Dina, who is the focus of Danielle's anger for some reason, ended the evening shaking, and I don't blame her. She joked one time that she didn't know if Danielle wanted to "be me or pull a Silence of the Lambs and skin me and wear me like last year's Versace." It was funny when she said it, but now, in their second season, more has happened off screen that they're not telling us and Dina has become very withdrawn. If I were she, I'd be nervous, too, especially since she's had threatening phone calls and her mailbox vandalized, at least.

Teresa's history with Danielle is troubled, too. According to page 69 of her best selling book, Skinny Italian, when they first became acquainted, Danielle asked to bring her kids to their shore house. The Giudice's welcomed them until one day, Danielle's boyfriend took a seat in a recliner in the room where all the kids were watching cartoons. Danielle reportedly came into the room and climbed on top of him and they started becoming "intimate" in front of the kids until Joe called the guy outside and had words with him. The Giudice's are kind of 'old school,'  but I don't think anyone would appreciate that kind of behavior in front of their kids.

The most recent episode, number 5 from season 2, had Danielle attending a fundraiser at the Brownstone for a child with cancer. She had no money to donate, but she got a wealthy friend to buy a table for ten. Unfortunately, the ex-con Danielle hired for "protection" had a bunch of ex-cons and bikers (a Hell's Angels vest was flashed for the cameras) meet them at the door, so she had twice the number of people with her to fit the table they bought. I'm not clear on why people who hadn't paid got through the door, but they did and they made a fuss. Danielle burdened the family of the poor child, Emanuela, with her drama, creating a scene and then marching out claiming she was leaving with dignity. Her dignity, if she ever had any, vanished when she brought these ex-cons into the mix, but she felt like she showed something to somebody. She considered it a victory in some way, but it was really a disgrace. I felt so grimy after just watching the spectacle that I made a donation to the little girl's charity. She's in remission, but the family has piles of hospital bills. If you'd like to donate, go here:

Emanuela's Heart for Hope

Somehow, this is going to lead to a showdown between Dina and Danielle. Dina wants it all to end, but a person like Danielle doesn't let go of an obsession like this just because you call a truce. Dina called her a sociopath on the show and I think that's an accurate description. Under no circumstances would I be in the same place with her if I were Dina, but we know it's going to happen.

Why am I covering this show? Well, first of all, I lived on the East Coast for 15 years and I love "Jersey Girls," which is not the same as a girl who happens to live in New Jersey. I love the families on this show - they're funny, warm and likable, for the most part. There's a tendency to try to spin the show as a "real Sopranos," but from what I see, they're just a close knit Italian family. People love to throw stereotypes around, you know?

I feel a little out of place on line, though, because the trend seems to be against the RHONJ crowd. People can be really vicious, especially about Teresa's family. I can't believe how cruel people can be toward her children. There's an unfortunate feud right now between Teresa and Bethenny from RHNYC. Teresa has unfortunately fallen under the spell of narcissistic Jill Zarin, who has been on a smear campaign against Bethenny, and now Alex, on her show. Jill fights dirty and plants stories in the press to mess with her cast mates. Teresa seems to be joining the fight, even dragging Dina into it on Twitter, but Dina tweeted immediately that she had no problem with Bethenny.

Yeah, it's high school stuff, but it's also fun until you get hung up on divided loyalties. I enjoy living vicariously through people who have the wherewithall to live in fabulous homes and buy anything they want, even if it turns out to be an illusion, as may be the case with some. I say have fun while it lasts. 

Next up, I'm going to talk about the kids,

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