Dina V. Danielle, Part I : RHONJ Recap

Network: BRAVO
Series: The Real Housewives of New Jersey
Episode: Season 2 Episode 6

OK, I'm going to write while I watch the show tonight. Apparently, Dina's ill-conceived showdown with Danielle will take place tonight. Also, the big news on the web this weekend is that free-spending Teresa and her "juicy" hubby are 11 Million dollars in debt. Well, hell, give me credit like that and watch me spend! I could put TT to shame, because I know where to shop and I've got GOOD taste. How did they get 8 mortgages on 3 houses? I was actually a loan officer for a brief while I couldn't get a mortgage! (I didn't try, but I know what the standards were and I'd never qualify.)

Here we go: Gia has an audition. There goes Teresa with the baby in a little carrier and Gia has a bag - is she moving in? Why do they need all that stuff for an audition? The part is for a Christian Slater movie, and a guy has a bunch of kids off in a separate room while Teresa waits in the outer room with other parents, to whom she brags about Gia and then announces that she is "SO not a stage mom." The look of disbelief on one father's face is priceless.

We're at the Brownstone, where they're working hard setting up for an event. They're rehashing the fact that no one threw Danielle out of the previous event except Danielle. True, but that doesn't matter, guys, because Danielle is nuts. What part of that don't they understand?

Jac is at the salon for a pedicure, and in comes Kim G., mother of Chris's best friend who also attended the infamous benefit with Danielle. She and Jac greet each other, Jac's talking head says she doesn't know her well, but she knows she friends with Danielle. Kim starts to talk about Danielle and Jac's baby starts to cry. Good boy, Nicholas! Kim won't be deterred by a perfectly timed crying baby, though, so Jac is regaled with the story of Kim's embarrassment at the scene Danielle caused and Kim says she wants to talk to Danielle about it. Jac warns her that Danielle can blow the simplest criticism up into a huge conflict. Kim still wants to give her a chance. To use a line Danielle stole from Julia Roberts: Big mistake. Huge! In her talking head interview, Jac makes a funny comparison between Danielle and Linda Blair in the Exorcist. I'd take Linda over Danielle any day.

Danielle is getting her makeup done because Kim G. is throwing Danielle her first grown-up birthday party. That's sad. I do believe this woman has had a rough life, but as Dina says, that's not an excuse to be evil. Danielle is getting her hair and makeup done and Kim confronts her about Danny calling Chris a faggot. Kim doesn't want Danny at the party and is worried about another big scene. Danielle is, as predicted, offended. She starts going off about the Manzos. Kim G. says she didn't like it, and doesn't want to be subjected to it again, and let's go to a party! The first thing Danielle does is start telling people they just had a fight. They're in the parking lot, Danielle is crying, Kim says she has to defend her son's best friend. Danielle is angry that she has to hear about the Manzos on her birthday. Kim tells Danielle she cares too much about them, and Danielle snaps at her, so she placates her and they go back in. Danielle does at least pull it together enough to give a toast thanking Kim for the party, but Kim is sort of continuing to argue, saying they'll have their differences no matter what.

Dina is working with an assistant, talking about her charity for kids with cancer. She's aggravated about the scene at the Brownstone because it was for a sick baby, brings up Danny calling Chris a gay slur, and just wants it all to end. Dina makes the decision to confront Danielle. *Sigh. Dina, Dina, Dina - she's nuts. You can't reason with a nut. If they made sense, they wouldn't call them crazy. Dina is determined to confront her, not wanting a replay of last year, which was very hard on Dina and we can see it has taken its toll. (Let me interject here that I'm not making light of Danielle's mental illness. I do believe she's a borderline personality and is legitimately dangerous. I deal with mental illness every day of my life and this is how I handle it - I detach. I'm a nut, too, just not a dangerous one.)

Back at the agent's office with Gia and Teresa. Gia didn't get the part, apparently because of her thick New Jersey accent. Teresa, who has a very strong Jersey accent, says she doesn't know what that is because she was born there. They get the kid a voice coach, though Gia and TT don't like the idea. The first lesson is very difficult since Gia says Cawfee instead of Coffee and progress is slow, to say the least.

Danielle has discovered she has a hate page set up about her on FaceBook, allegedly by Jac's daughter Ashley, and she is losing her freaking mind. Danielle says this has been going on for 6 months and she's afraid because she's not a fighter. Kim G. tells Danielle to go to the police and just end it. Don't help, Kim! Any way, Danielle feels terrorized and just wants the Manzos to leave her alone. I find it hard to believe Ashley is smart enough to use a computer, but Jac is going to confront her so we'll see momentarily.

Teresa and Jac meet up in a restaurant. Jac tells TT that Danielle is telling people that Ashley threatened to kill her and she's going to send the police to their house to arrest her. Jac calls Ashley and insists that she meet her at the restaurant and be prepared to tell the truth. Jac explains to Teresa that while she was in the hospital with the baby, Ashley and Danielle had a FaceBook or Twitter or text war. Ashley shows up and Jac asks her if it is true. She's fudging a little, but she's also defending what she did. Jac tells Teresa that Danielle reportedly called Ashley a whore and Ashley says Danielle called her fat. Jac tells her that Danielle is claiming she threatened her and to let her know if she hears from Danielle again. This is not going to be good.

Danielle and Danny Pro are shopping for a suit because she thinks this will make him more acceptable to Kim G. Danielle says they have to have a pin stripe because they're Italian. Danielle was adopted and the records are sealed, but she has several colorful stories about her supposed Italian roots and they seem very, very important to her. Danielle's phone rings and it's Dina. Oy. Dina asks Danielle to meet her at Chakra. I love Dina. She's a Goddess worshiper and doesn't even know it, but that's a whole different post. Danielle and Danny Pro discuss the prospect and they get a little paranoid, as they are wont to do, so Danielle calls back to confirm it's just the two women. Danny says he'll be available if Danielle needs him.

Now we're with Ashley and Derek, the dull-witted boyfriend - boring! They carry on the family tradition of bashing Danielle. Jac calls yelling that she knows Ashley put on FaceBook that Danielle put out a warrant for her arrest and to take it down immediately. Yikes. Even dumb Derek says it was ridiculous for Ashley to put that up on FaceBook. Ashley tells Derek she wants more people on her side than Danielle's side. Ashley feels justified because D. has done so many things to her family, but again, nobody will tell us what she's supposed to have done. Why Ashley is even involved in this, I have no idea. She's 18, so she's an adult and I have to say it. Ashley is lost. Danielle is nuts, but Ashley is lost. Why an adult like Danielle would engage in a web war with a teenager like Ashley, I don't know, but neither side has any excuse for this behavior.

There's a vignette of Caroline and Albert shopping, and a talking head of Albie saying his dad was a fat guy when she married him. Albert wants a porter house steak, but Caroline rolls her eyes because that's not on his new diet. The old man is looking positively svelte, so I agree with Caroline, pass it up.

Caroline is having a huge family dinner, but Dina isn't going because she needs to confront Danielle. Idiot. Not only is she going on a fool's errand, she's missing one of Caroline's dinners to do it. I wish I could go in her place! Teresa calls and she's running late, as usual, and everyone is sitting around the table waiting for her and Juicy Joe.

Dina gets ready to get closure on the conflict. We see she and Danielle getting ready. Dina is determined and says she's not afraid of Danielle. Danielle calls Danny because she's a little bit afraid. He's waiting in the parking lot.

Back at dinner with the Manzos and CJ is going to deliver plates of pasta. He's a sweet little kid, so far. Ashley brings up Danielle, though they had agreed not to bring her up. Jac reports that people are calling her with warnings that Danielle is going to have Ashley arrested. Ashley says Danielle started it. Caroline thinks she should stay out of it, but says her reason, which is to protect her family, is right but the delivery is wrong. No, Caroline, Ashley is harassing Danielle because she knows you all will let her get away with it. Call it tribalism, call it sadism, ethnocentrism, whatever, but it's what stupid people do when they think someone is not as good as they are - they feel entitled to torture them. In the web war, I'm afraid I'm on Danielle's side.

Albie and Chris are talking about Danielle threatening Joe for making a gay joke, but that Danny Pro called Chris an effing fa**ot and she didn't say anything about it. Teresa chimes in as a talking head, reminiscing about Danielle getting mad at Joe for using he word "gay" at their group dance lesson last season. Caroline tries to tell them all Danielle is not rational. Jac doesn't want to talk about Danielle and they all make a pact never to speak of Danielle again. That will last about 2 minutes.

Dina arrives at Chakra and tells us that this is her meeting, it's about closure for her, her boundaries, not Danielle. I'd like to think Dina is too smart to really believe that, but I'm beginning to have my doubts. Danielle arrives, and they don't order because Dina doesn't have a lot to say. Dina begins by affirming that Danielle claims to be on a spiritual path and she supports that, but that she wants closure. She forgave her but nothing has changed. Dina says the only thing making her unhappy is having Danielle in her life. Dina is trying to draw a boundary and it's not working. Danielle is complaining about Ashley and says her opinion of Dina is based on what Jac told her about her. Dina tries to get them focused, Danielle is getting loud and they start going back and forth and the show ends. WTF?!

The fight continues next week. Son of a bitch.

Preview for Next Week: Danielle's sex tape hits the papers and one housewife leaves the show forever! WHO is it?! Any guesses? I know what I think.

Also, Danielle gives lessons on the stripper pole. I'm telling you, she's like a whole new person - NOT!

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