What about the kids of RHONJ?

Network: BRAVO

Series: Real Housewives of New Jersey (RHONJ)

Are the children on reality shows being exploited? I'm sure the answer varies with each show and each kid. On RHONJ, we're dealing with all ages. Teresa's kids are 9 and under, Danielle's kids are tween and 15, Jac has one grown daughter and two small boys, and all the Manzo kids are over 20, I think. Dina's daughter, Lexi, is finishing jr. high but for some reason she's not on the show this season.

I think it's safe to say that anyone over 16 is on the show voluntarily, and I'd say the show can open up some doors that might otherwise be closed. Time will tell if they can make the most of the opportunities it brings their way. Albie's going to law school, so it may or may not help him, but younger brother Chris wants to own a combination strip club and car wash. I'm pretty sure the one day internships he did at a local car wash and at Scores gentlemen's club in NY would not have happened if it hadn't been for the TV show. I'm also pretty sure Chris will manage to own a business of his own some day if he really wants to, though if I were he, I'd stick with the family business at the Brownstone. He has a dream, though, so maybe he'll give it a try for real. He certainly spiced up a Wednesday at the car wash with his flock of cute girls in Daisy Dukes.

The older girls. Lauren and Ashley, Caroline and Jacqueline's daughters respectively, don't appear to be doing much with their opportunities so far. Lauren, the older of the two, spoke in the first season of being a makeup artist or aesthetician, and she apparently did do some training since then, but her focus this season is dating her brother's best friend. Ashley has moved out and is apparently moved into her boyfriend's mother's house. She has some vague notion of going to school for something, but it's very unclear. I'm afraid she's lost, and in an upcoming episode, she's going to commit an assault on Danielle Staub, so she has a record now, poor kid. Her mother has offered to get her a life coach to help refine her goals, but she turned it down. She's 18 so there's not a lot her mother can do, especially since she has the money from appearing on the show to live on.

Teresa Giudice's kids are all under 9 years old. The oldest, Gia, wants to be a star and dances, sings, plays guitar - you name it. She's got a calling and frankly, she's already getting opportunities, like walking in NY Fashion Week, that she'd probably never get otherwise. She's adorable and enthusiastic, but there's no doubt that her mother's participation in this show is moving her to the front of the line. People criticize Teresa as a stage mother, but I really don't think that's the case. She's supportive and enthusiastic, but she stands back and let's Gia do her thing. Nobody has to tell Gia to practice - she just does. It wouldn't hurt her to learn a little humility, but that will come in time, I'm sure. I don't see her putting pressure on Gia, and i have a feeling if Gia decides she doesn't want to do it anymore, Teresa would be fine with that.

The two smallest Giudice daughters, Audriana and Milania, are too young to be affected much by being on the show unless some of the cruelty directed at them and their family on line finds its way to them. I hope it doesn't follow them to school as they get older. The second daughter, Gabriella, seems to spend a lot of time in tears. Some of it is jealousy, for example, when Gia got a pink limo and a spa party for her 9th birthday, and it could just be editing, too, but I do wonder how having camera crews around is affecting that particular child. She might be the one that rebels against the flashy clothes Teresa favors. She had a fit when T. didn't want to buy her an over-sized black dress. Do I see a sense of alienation and a stint in art school in her future? Maybe, but it's too early to make predictions. It will probably be a couple of years before we really get a sense of her personality since we don't see that much of the kids.

Jacqueline's two younger kids don't get a lot of screentime. CJ seems like a pleasant little boy, and we see him helping Mommy clean and petting Mommy's hair when she's in bed after giving birth to Nicholas. Jac had 4 miscarriages before she managed to get pregnant with him, so he's the apple of Mommy's eye right now. He's also one of the cutest babies on TV, right up there with Major Novagratz from 9 by Design. People complain when they show the smaller kids, but I love seeing them and I don't see them having any lasting effects from being on camera when they're so young they don't really know any different.

The kids that worry me are Danielle's. The minute IMG called Christine, her mom was making her promise not to forget her when she got famous and maybe when she's famous they can "get another big house." Danielle is very close to losing her current big house because of her divorce and her refusal to get a job. She told Dina, early on, I assume, that she was "too pretty to work." If she'd have  little work done on the house and sell it, her half would come out to almost a million dollars. Why she won't do that, and buy a smaller house, I don't understand. She has money for hair extensions and having her nails done, but she can't have the landscaping spruced up to get a good price on the house?

Danielle is most definitely a stage mother. She all but smothered Christine when she was with the walking coach before Fashion Week. She's already saying it's the making of a supermodel and planning their trips together to Milan and Paris. I hope she gives up on that. The kid has a perfect face and the right body type, but she's already trying to prepare Danielle for the idea that she might not make it as a model. If she doesn't ease up, Christine will fail just to spite her. Jillian, the younger girl who I think is 12, seems to alternate between feeling left out, to feeling jealous, to feeling pressured to be a model like Christine. Her mother keeps telling her "you're next!" Nobody asked Jillian if she wanted to be pimped out so her mom could buy another big house. Nobody asked Christine, either, but she did accept a contract with IMG, or rather, her Mom did.

Everybody, including the other wives, is praying for those kids to be really successful so they can get away from their mother, but I don't see her letting go of her own free will. One reviewer even suggested that Christine have herself emancipated and get out, then save her sister. That might not be a bad idea, now that I think about it, especially since Danielle is bringing people with mob ties into her life. Are these kids being exploited? Not yet, I don't think. In fact, I think the show might give them a way out. If their father isn't in the picture to protect them, at least everybody in the country is seeing what their home life is like. There's a distinct reversal of roles with these kids parenting their Mom. There was a scene at the beginning of the second season where Danielle wants to do a drive by of a party at the Mazo's house, thinking she was being left out of something. She's driving through the night, sounding crazy or drunk, raving about the party as the girls sit in back of the car and beg her to forget it and go home. You actually hear them saying that they're not going to sit there and watch her make a fool of herself. On this occasion, they got through to her, but you have to wonder how many times this scene has happened when there was no camera there to record it. My guess would be that there were some epic battles leading up to her divorce from their father. I think it's possible that these kids might have better lives as a result of their mom being on this show even though they might experience some embarrassment at some of her actions at school.

I don't think being on the show itself is exploitative. I think the potential exists in many circumstances, but much less so for the kids than the adults. It might be exploitation to have Danielle on the show because of her mental instability, just as it is with Kelly Bensimon, another Real Housewife who is mentally unstable, but I think it can ultimately help their kids. It creates unique opportunities, at least for a while. If there are problems, I think they're more likely to surface when the cameras, the attention and the money go away, as they inevitably will.

As with any opportunity in life, the value is in what you do with it. So far, the Real Housewives on all the shows rarely do anything good with it. A few create products like Ramona Singer's True Renewal skin care line. Bethenny Frankel is getting her own spinoff, has three successful books, a workout DVD, and a bottled margarita mix. I have no doubt she'll show her baby on the show and she'll be criticized just as the others are for "exploiting" their kids, but I think that's ridiculous. It's an amazing opportunity if they make the most of it, especially when the child it too young to be affected by it.
 

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